Well it’s that time of year again. Time for reflection and this year is the first year in many where I’m left wondering what I have actually achieved in 2017. I know – I’m always hard on myself, but this year I feel like I’m in a little bubble of nothingness. I’m not quite sure where I belong. At almost 45, maybe it’s my age?!

I’m left wondering a little bit about what 2017 has been about this year for me. At the start of the year I was in my (what I thought was) dream job – working for an agent. But in an over saturated market I struggled to make money solely designing, plus I missed terribly being around people. So I got myself a couple of  little cafe jobs, which I loved and have really enjoyed having social interaction once again. The steady income, albeit tiny, was a bonus too as I’d been used to money coming into my account very adhoc for the last ten years. So that was great…..but not really fulfilling.

Next came another job teaching art to children and teaching sewing to adults. That pushed me out of my comfort zone as I’ve never taught before and I’ve enjoyed it thoroughly. However, working for other people after running my own business for such a long time has been tough if I’m brutally honest and I knew it would be. When you are so used to answering only to yourself and doing things your way, it’s rather difficult doing things “their” way, especially when you know you can do it better! Ha, ha! Forever the business owner hey!

So 2017 has left me a bit non plussed to be honest. Being a creative I’ve realised that having my fingers in many pies is good for me as I do get bored easily (remember all the blogging I used to do with Cheeky Pickle – it helped me keep my mind buzzing and kept the boredom at bay), being around people again and not being stuck behind a computer is good for me, teaching is uplifting and making someone smile by making them laugh in the cafe or helping someone gain confidence by learning a new skill is a lovely thing to do, but I’m still left a little numb.

My husband and I have talked about going into business together for many years and this is something that I’d love to do. We both agree that my current product business isn’t working and I know that I have to re think everything I’ve ever done. The surface pattern market is full to bursting with amazing designers and I don’t feel like I have the energy to keep pushing and competing any more. So the only option (I believe) is to start again. Start again with a shiny new idea, new business, new website……Ah, as you can imagine this fills me with excitement, but also fills me with a sense of exhaustion….and that’s just thinking about it!

So there you go. That’s my year. Honest as ever! So that’s why I’ve not been very prominent on social media and I haven’t been pushing my product forward. It’s time for change, but how that change will manifest itself I’m not quite sure yet. Watch this space!

Merry Christmas – Ali xxx

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